CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize