i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
