Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
