i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
