he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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