He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
