when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
