they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
