chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
