An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize