i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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