so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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