if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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