I cockslap morals
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
