i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
