if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
