How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize