I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
