She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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