I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
