i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize