that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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