She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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