god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
handjob tips. give me some.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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