My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
