She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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