you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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