did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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