haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
