Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
