Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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