ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize