and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
