He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
