Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
