yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
