i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
