Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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