It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
