She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
