Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
