I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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