We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
