OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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