Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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