This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Farmville is her only friend.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize