Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
