I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
