dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
