So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
