Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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