I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
