i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
