I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
