So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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