You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
