i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
