I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
