She said her name was "party"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
